Long Distance Relationship Tips
May 23, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships
By: Chelsea Pullano
Managing a long distance relationship can be tough. It is difficult to deal with not seeing one another very often, and not being able to carry out the simple pleasures of living near one another, like having dinner together often or just hanging out one on one. However, if your situation demands your relationship be long distance, then there are some things you can do to make it easier on the both of you.
We Live in The Age of Digital Media – Use It
Implement the ways you have to communicate with one another. Do your best to be available via text of Facebook whenever you can. It does not take very long to answer a text or Facebook message, and sending each other messages about your day periodically can really help you feel connected while you are physically far apart. When you have a bit more time on your hands, use Skype or Facetime to communicate. Maybe even have a date night weekly or biweekly, where you video chat and have dinner together. This will take some of the strain of not being able to actually “go outtogether” off of the relationship. Above all, call each other. Try to talk on the phone and hear each other’s voices daily, or at least a few times a week. This will take a bit of the emotional and communicational distance away from the relationship.
Be Open About Your Plans
When you are not close enough to someone physically to check in on your significant other periodically, it is easy to get suspicious about what they do. Check in with one another once and a while. Tell your significant other that you are going out with friends, or that you are going to dinner with your classmates. You do not need to check in with them twenty four seven, but periodically mentioning where you are and who you are with can only help qualm their fears, and will also help you two feel more connected, because you are in on each others plans, even though you can’t physically be there.
Cherish Your Time Together – But Not At The Expense Of Your Lives
It is important to spend time together when you can, but do not shut out the rest of your world. Being in a relationship means being a part of one anothers lives. This means getting to know each other’s friends, and being a part of their lives in general. If you hide yourselves away in your house to have one on one time every second that you are physically together, then you are actually harming your relationship. Eventually you will want to be part of one another’s lives when you end up living near one another. So it is important to get a head start on that. Being in a relationship for years and realizing that you have alienated your friends because you will not see them when you are with your significant other will not help your relationship, or your friendships.
Long distance relationships are manageable, if you are both willing to put in the additional effort. This means effort towards your significant other, and also effort towards the rest of the people in your life. Having a long-distance significant other can easily cause you to compromise the rest of your relationships, and unless you want to lose many friends in the process, maintaining these relationships is as important as maintaining your romantic relationship.
Do Not Mix Politics and Dating
May 23, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Chelsea Pullano
Many people are passionate about their politics, often to a fault. One key thing to stay away from during the first leg of dating is discussing politics, unless you truly trust both yourself and the other person to be polite and open minded. Even if you are confident that you can discuss politics in an openminded manner, the person you are with may not have the same restraints as you do, and you could end up offending them, or angering them, no matter how diplomatic you try to be.
How Much Does it Matter?
If you honestly believe that you cannot be with someone if they hold different political views than you do, then it is important to bring it up early on. If there is no chance that the relationship will work out unless their beliefs are in line with yours, then it is important to know that early on. However, if you are emotionally attached to a person, it is advisable to let the relationship grow some before you discuss politics. You may find that you can actually be in a working relationship with someone of opposite political views, if you let yourself get to know them as a person before you get to know their political stance.
Be Polite and Open Minded
When you do end up discussing politics, be sure to word your questions and points carefully. Present your point of view as that, your point of view, and not as strict facts that are not up for discussion. Let the other person talk, too. Discuss your point of view on one issue, and then let them respond with their own, rather than just presenting one long string of your views. This will show that you are able to listen and discuss, which is valuable to your relationship in general, and not just your political debates.
Never Underestimate the Power of a Healthy Debate
Many people can assume that another person who does not believe in their political views is naive or unintelligent because of their views. If you are both capable of doing so without offending one another, it is important to have a healthy debate of your views. This will show both of you that the other has reasons for their beliefs, and that they are educated on the topic of politics, but that you simply see them from different viewpoints. This will keep both of you from looking down on the other because of your differing opinions. However, remember that you will probably not change one another’s opinions. You are simply airing your points of view to prove that your point of view comes from somewhere, and that you can relay it to others intelligently.
If you are in a longterm relationship, it is inevitable that your political views will come up. However, it is probably best to wait to discuss these until you are a ways into your relationship. When you do discuss them, be kind about it, and never underestimate the power of talking about and debating your viewpoints. These simple tips can take politics from something that harms your relationship to something that strengthens it, by way of constructive handling of disagreements.
Did You Fall for These 3 Behaviours in Your Toxic Relationship?
May 23, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Paula Jones
There are many traits that characterize a toxic relationship with a narcissistic person. We become involved in the relationship, as expected, but this means that we can no longer see what an outsider would see. The three main tactics that stand out in my mind are the ones that make us have a tendency to stay far longer than is healthy.
There may be other names for these tactics, but here’s how I saw them. Do you recognize any?
De-cluttering
A toxic partner who is obsessed with de-cluttering loves to do this for you as a favor. Youre not very good at this, so Ill do it for you. I can see where you’re going wrong. Don’t worry, Ill sort all of this out.De-cluttering extends to all the different corners of your life. Your possessions, your values, your family, your friends. When they de-clutter you are left with the bare bones of your life, all ready to be redesigned, moved around, redecorated. By them. When you have your realization, your big OMG moment, you’ll see that de-cluttering has led you into a life where it’s pretty much directed by your partner, you don’t have as much stuff (always be wary of a potential partner who remarks, you’ve got a lot of stuff and your friends and family are complaining they don’t see you as often as theyd like).
De-cluttering is always done with your stuff and your life, not theirs. Remember that, and in your new life, hang onto what’s yours.
The Parent Trap
I could write for days about this. Some days he’s the parent, some days he’s the child. Never your partner and your equal. I’m not talking about the rituals we get into of daft communication that no one outside our relationships would understand, or the times you ask for help and advice, no, I mean the disciplinarian, disapproving, punishing behavior. This behavior can be flipped on its head at a moment’s notice, and you have no idea what sets it off. Being told that you’re not very good here, let me do it, I can do that better. Another form is giving you the silent treatment, and then when youve been punished enough, being a model of concern.This behavior is cruel, and hurtful, and leads to:
Sulking
Resistance to the other two leads to sulking, and moves them even further into the child behavior. You can never win with a sulk, no matter what you do. There will always be some imagined slight. Lets say, for example, you have asked for permission! to go for a drink with your friends, he’s agreed, and everything is fine. So, how do you react when you return home to find him in bed at 8 pm with the lights off?Is there anything you could have done to prevent that happening? Of course there is. You could have not gone out. When a narcissistic partner gives you permission to do something without them, they don’t mean it. Not ever. And you will know about it, every time.
So, if you’ve been out of your harsh relationship for some time, and you are struggling with your mojo and feeling deserving and worthy, these are some of the reasons why. It can take a little more than simply leaving to get over this. When you’ve spent your partnership being groomed, it’s difficult to just pick up the pieces of the confidence you had before, it means ditching habits, learning new behavior and moving on.
Is The Ex of a Friend Fair Game?
May 22, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Chelsea Pullano
When your friend has a significant other, it is only natural that you will get to know them decently well throughout the duration of their relationship. If your friend and the significant other break up, they may even come to you for advice or solace, since you know their now ex so well. However, spending time with a friend’s ex, one runs the risk of romantic feelings developing. If this does happen, what is the acceptable course of action on your part? The answer is not the same for everyone. There are a few questions that you need to ask yourself in order to determine what you should do.
What Caused The Breakup?
If the breakup was amicable, there is a much greater chance that you and your new romantic interest can make things work with no interference from your friend. However, if the breakup was volatile, or your friends ex did something particularly offensive to your friend, you may have a bit more trouble. Take a look at the situation: who broke up with who, who was hurt, who was angry, and gage your next actions accordingly.
Reverse the Situation
Ask yourself what you would do if the situation were reversed. Would you be angry with your friend? Would you prefer that they step aside in order to prevent hard feelings on your part, or that they go ahead and do what makes them happy? If you would want your friend to see your ex, then continue looking at the other factors involved in the situation. If you would be offended if you were in your friendsplace, then it is probably best to consider that before moving forward. It may be best to realize that you would be doing something you personally consider offensive, and that you should spare your friend the discussion. However, it is also possible your friend will disagree. If it is an idea that you find offensive but they do not, your struggle is now with yourself. This leads into the next question you need to figure out.
How Does Your Friend View The Situation?
Talk to your friend. If they are fine with you seeing their ex, then there should be no problem. If they would rather you not, then you need to put a bit more thought into it. If they ask you not to see their ex, and you disagree with their opinion, this can put a serious strain on your friendship. At that point, it is important to weigh your friendship against your potential new relationship. If the discussion has caused a rift in your friendship, it is important to note whether the issues in your friendship based solely around this potential relationship? Or does the fact that your friend is asking you to push aside feelings for someone on account of their feelings bother you at a more fundamental level? If you dislike the fact that your friend would put their happiness over yours, then you may have a problem with your friendship regardless of your dating decisions.
Once you have thought about the above issues, you should be able to determine what the best course of action is for you to follow. While you should be able to be happy, romantic happiness may not be the only thing at stake here. You need to take into account the above issues, to realize what will truly affect your happiness the most.
5 Ways to Create Faith in a Relationship
May 22, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Steve Wisley
We often feel that our faith in our partner is just a natural thing. The truth is faith is something that can, and should, be built in a relationship to make that relationship last. What we are going to look at is five suggestions to help you build that faith and trust in your mate. By reading this article you will be able to feel a closer and stronger relationship with your lover.
Number One
Build a rock your mate can count on. Yes, it is fun and exciting to surprise your wife, husband, boyfriend or girfriend, with a special treat, like a date night with dinner and a movie. Or, bring your mate home a bouquet or favorite carryout. But, what a life partner really wants is to know you will always be there, no matter what.
Number Two
Watch your language. No, not your language you use when out with the guys or gals, but the everyday language you use with your special one in your life. Do you use a harsh tone when not necessary? Is what you are telling them with your words the same emotion you are acting out? If you are not congruent with your words and actions it gives your mate an uneasiness that they may not be able to define, but they just feel like something is wrong.
Number Three
Do you give your better-half the feeling that you trust them to be competent in what they bring to the relationship? Do you pick at them or do you give them some slack, trusting they will do the right thing. Sometimes we feel that the other person just cannot do a certain chore as well as we can. If we convey that feeling to them we destroy their feeling of comfort with your relationship. Let your mate know that you believe in them by letting them complete the task they are undertaking.
Number Four
Whatever you do, do not withhold honesty in your partnership. By this I mean keeping secrets. Keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty. It tells the other person that you do not trust them enough to share your thoughts with them. Always be straight forward. Trying to keep secrets is a load that gets mighty heavy.
Number Five
Don’t ever stop growing your relationship and be sure you both are growing together. So often, a couple will spend years together only to find they are two completely different people than when they first started. To prevent this spend time together along life’s path. Find out what your mates feelings are, set your life goals together and make sure you encourage the other person to grow in the areas that have meaning to them.
Working on any relationship is not always easy; in fact it can be downright hard at times. But, the reward at the end will be worth many times the hurts and bruises along the way. If you follow the 5 ways to create faith in a relationship you will build a foundation that will stand against the storms of life.
Ways to Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever
By: K. Smith
Most women have long been in search of an answer to the question of what makes a guy fall in love. Many of us have met and fallen for a great guy who just didn’t seem as into us, as we were into him. Leaving love to fate or chance may seem like the logical thing to do but it can leave you alone and broken hearted. If you want him, why sit on the sidelines waiting to see if he’s going to eventually fall hopelessly in love with you? Instead you should grab the bull by the horns and do everything in your power to make him want you too. You can do that if you fully understand what will make him fall for you.
Nearly all women are looking for a solution regarding what makes a man fall in love with them. A lot of women nowadays have met as well as fallen for a man of their dreams who just simply failed to look directly at all of her, even as she had been into him. Calling love fate might appear rational but it can get away from you and leave you alone and broker hearted. If you would like him, why take a seat on the sidelines waiting to see if he’s going to gradually fall in love with you? You need to pick up the bull by the horns and carry out almost everything within your power to make him want you as well. You can do that when you completely understand what will make him fall for you.
Realizing what makes a man fall in love starts off with knowing the characteristics in women that a lot of men or guys tend to be attracted to or fascinated by.
Honesty, integrity as well as loyalty tops that list, so if you consider the very best method to capture his heart is always to exaggerate your strengths then you are wrong. That will simply upset him and distance him from you.
Always be direct and straightforward with him. A different quality which men are unable to obtain enough in a woman is kindness. We’ve been told that the best method to capture his heart is to appear a little distant and unavailable. This does work to a degree but if you really want to make yourself irresistible to him, you have to show him that you’re a genuinely kind person. Be nice to him and everyone around you. Go out of your way to help others. He’ll be impressed and it will make him want you even more.
Men do like the thrill of the chase though and you should never lose sight of that. Being mindful of when you first get intimate is important if you hope to win a man’s heart. Regardless of what men say they do make silent judgments of women based on when intimacy first occurs in the relationship. Knowing what makes a guy falls in love with you includes understanding that he wants to seduce you and he wants to work to gain your affection. Hold back a bit and he’ll be falling head over heels trying to get closer to you.
Cougar Dating
May 21, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships
by Sylvia Van Peebles
Cougar Dating
No, this is not about some kinky hook-up with a four-legged mountain feline. This is about the growing trend of older women dating younger men. Unlike the acceptable practice of a younger woman dating an older man, an older woman dating a younger man is cause to jam the phone lines. What is this double standard? They call the older woman a cougar. You immediately picture the poor unwitting younger man as prey, devoured by the older woman. Poor guy. Dry your eyes, younger men know the danger, and they love it! Cougar dating did just come on the scene, but brought center stage when older female celebrities such as Demi Moore, Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and Mariah Carey started dating and marrying younger men. Suddenly, the concept became hot!
They say that the cougar (the animal) jumps on opportunity with no hesitation. This could apply to the two-legged ones as well. To be honest, cougar’s do hunt young men. However, a cougar is not looking for a serious relationship. Many times, she is on the rebound from a divorce. She is looking for a good time, and a carefree young buck is right up her alley. He has the stamina, and she has the experience to turn their relationship into a perpetual “E-ticket”ride.
Today’s older woman looks better than ever before. She is fit, financially independent, and educated. Additional benefits are availability, longer life span, and emotional security. Women also peak sexually later than men do. There is around a 15-year difference. Therefore, a 25-year-old man is a great fit for a 40-year-old woman. Younger men appreciates the older woman’s maturity, she avoids drama. She is confident and secure in who she is, and she knows what she wants. She fulfills their Mrs. Robinson fantasy.
There are other considerations, however, when dating a cougar. Cougar dating is not for the faint-of-heart. There is the social stereotype and public ridicule. How will his family react? Will they accept her? Will they be doing a little hunting of their own? Will her family accuse her of robbing-the-cradle? Watch for the possible emotional baggage she may be carrying. Since women mature faster than men do, some younger men may be immature. Of course, maturity and intellect are not generally at the top of a cougar’s list.Are you trying to decide if a cougar dating relationship is for you? Well, if you are the younger man, you will have a woman who is confident, experienced and eager. You will not have to worry about a long-term commitment, and you will have amazingly intense sex. If you are the older woman, you will have a younger man who is ambitious, eager to learn, looks great, and you will have amazingly intense sex. Yeah, it is a tough call.
Sylvia Van Peebles has a passion for writing and a broad range of experience allows her to write on many different topics. She writes articles, short stories, real estate descriptions and other trending content.
Is Dating A Friend Worth It?
May 20, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Chelsea Pullano
Is Dating a Friend Worth It?
When you are close friends with someone, it is easy to fall for them. Spending large amounts of time with someone you are already emotionally close to and compatible with can easily transform feelings of friendship into more than they originally were. But I have heard many people say that dating a friend is not worth risking the friendship. Perhaps it is because of my own personal experiences (my best friend and I tried to date and it did not quite work out, but I believe that we are actually closer because we tried), but I am inclined to disagree with this theory. Why would you not risk your friendship, when what you could lose by not trying to date one another could be so much more than that?
Dating someone who is also your good friend can be extremely rewarding. You already know the person intimately in an emotional sense, so the beginning of the relationship is easy. It also usually means that you both know each other’s friend circles (and possibly each other’s families) better than a stranger would, and therefore saves the stress of wondering if the other people in their lives will like you. Therefore, while it does come with some risks, I highly encourage giving a relationship with a friend a chance.
There are some risks to dating a close friend, although I believe hurting your friendship is the lesser important of them. The fact that you were friends before you dated can skew the pace of a relationship. This is not to say that any relationship should have a certain pace it needs to follow, but rather that you may feel more comfortable at a different pace with a friend that you would with a stranger. You risk playing it too safe, and having a relationship that is really just your friendship by another name. You also risk taking things faster than you are actually comfortable with, because you believe that you should know this person well enough to push the relationship forward. It is important to remember that while you may know your friends well, interactions in a romantic relationship are different than other interactions. Since you are already close, talking over what you are both comfortable with should be less difficult. Talk to your friend. Tell them what you want. Because, as friends, this should not be hard, and as boyfriend and girlfriend, it should be incredibly important.
The most important reason that I suggest attempting a relationship with a friend you have feelings for is this: if your friendship is strong, the relationship should not damage your friendship. Most relationships that end volatilely end this way because one party greatly harmed the other. If you are friends, it is highly unlikely one of you will cheat, or hurt the other in some other way. You know each other well enough to be aware of what is hurtful to one another. If you find that you two are not compatible romantically, then you should be able to go back to being friends, and you will not have to go around always wondering what could have been. It may hurt. If one of you still believes a romantic relationship is better and the other believes it is not, it certainly will hurt. But if you are good friends then time will show you why you would not have worked. The pain will fade, and your friendship will be able to continue. If you are romantically compatible, then you have found a whole other realm to your relationship with one another.
Let Him Chase You!
May 20, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships
by Sylvia Van Peebles
Let Him Chase You!
Yes, we are in the 21st century and anything pretty much goes, but just because we can do something, doesn’t always mean we should. From the beginning of time, men have always enjoyed the chase. The mating game was one that was artfully played by both sides. Neither side was overtly obvious about their attraction to a particular person. There were etiquette lines that were never crossed, and how to be a lady is what every well-bred girl was taught. Women who openly pursued men were whispered about, and called names that were not very nice. Even with all of these restrictions, women who allowed the chase got married all the time!
Today men are confused as to what their roll actually is. At some point, women decided they wanted to be equal with men. The men thought this was stupid, but agreed. So they stopped opening doors, and pulling out chairs. They no longer gave up seats to women, and raced them to parking spots. As women flooded the workforce, men saw their calling of being provider and protector fly out the window. This paradigm shift has had a huge impact on relationships in today’s society.
Women have become quite comfortable with approaching men they are attracted to, calling them, and going away on unaccompanied weekend jaunts together. They shower them with gifts, and even give them money. Apparently, women have believed the propaganda that there is such a shortage of men, they need to behave in this manner to make sure they get one. Is it desperate times calling for desperate actions? If the focus is taken off celebrities and their brazen ways, women would see that maybe, just maybe they were missing something. If they were honest, you would find that women are unhappy with this equality nonsense.
In days gone by, it was said that boys only married nice girls. Contrary to popular belief, it is still true. Nice men do still look for nice women to marry. They want to pursue her, make her feel special, spoil her, provide for and protect her. They are not in a hurry. They want to spend time getting to know that special woman they have found.
Ladies, let him chase you! His pursuit of you should send your self-esteem through the roof. It means that he values you, and that you are worth fighting for. He is ready and willing to invest his time and resources in winning you, and ultimately keeping you. Have you ever noticed that the women who do the chasing, more times than not, do not end up with the relationship they desire? Letting him do the chasing, does not mean you are old-fashioned, or not with it. It means you are smart, and are allowing the man to assume his proper role. Just because everybody is doing it, does not mean it is the right thing to do. Let him chase you, but remember to slow down and let him catch you!
Sylvia Van Peebles has a passion for writing and a broad range of experience allows her to write on many different topics. She writes articles, short stories, real estate descriptions and other trending content.
Renewing Your Vows: Doing It The Way You Really Want To
By: Talia Gamble
Renewing Your Vows: Doing It The Way You Really Want To
There are a lot of couples that opt to renew their vows after they’ve been married for a while. Maybe the two of you felt obligated by your families to have the big wedding with hundreds of people you barely knew there and had it turn into a giant stress fest with the focus on your union lost along the way? Maybe you have been through a really rough patch in your marriage and want to reaffirm your commitment to each other? Or maybe the two of you opted for an elopement or civil union and want to throw a wedding with all the bells and whistles this time around. Whatever your reasons, there are a plethora of things you can do to personalize your celebration and make it about the two of you.
Invite Only Those Who Have Brought Meaning To Your Life In Some Way: When you think about the type of wedding vow renewal that you want to have, what do you see? Do you see yourself in some big setting with a hundred people you barely know? I didn’t think so. Keeping your guest list small will not only save you a ton of money, but you can be assured that your special day will be shared only by those you love the most. If certain family members start giving you grief, gently remind them that this is a special day all about you and your honey and since you did it the way your family wanted the first time around, just say “We’re doing it our way now.” Let them know that they are appreciated and more than welcome to help out if they so choose, but you want their full support in creating the day in a fashion chosen by you and your partner only.
Work That Dress Girl: Perhaps you went with the big poufy white gown the first time around and weren’t happy about it. There are no hard and fast rules that say you have to wear a formal wedding gown when renewing your vows. Did you have your eye on a short red number? Rock it! How about a black floor length gown split to your thigh? Strut your stuff down the aisle diva! If it makes you feel like a million bucks it’s probably exactly what you’re looking for. Wear something that is indelibly you. On the flip side, maybe you wanted the beautiful white gown before, but had an informal wedding do to budget constraints. In that case, find your dream wedding gown and get it! This is your chance to change the things you were unsatisfied with at your first ceremony, so choose the garb that make you and your sweetie happy. (As a side note, be kind to your bridesmaids. The first time around they often get stuck in gowns that your mother or mother-in-law picked out. This is your chance to show your girls some love with a stylish getup she can wear again and again.)
Write Your Own Vows: Sure, the traditional vows are great, but I’m sure there have been a lot of things the two of you have now experienced, bonded over, and fought your way through together that you may want to express when reciting your new vows. There is truly no more heartfelt or honest way to express your love for your honey than in personal words imbued with your own thoughts, feelings, and expression. A good way to start is by writing down some memorable milestones in your years together. For instance, you may want to vow that you will always cook from now on and follow that up with a story about how he tried to make you breakfast in bed right after you were married and the fire department had to be called. Maybe he can vow that he will always bring you a cup of coffee when you’re up late hitting the books before your graduate school exam because he once forgot and you fell asleep face first in your textbook. Its little moments like these that make your bond special. Of course you should also add the things you love so much about your partner such as their kindness, wicked sense of humor, patience, unending support, and protection. Vow to never forget the things you love so much about them. It’s the strength of your bond that brought you through the hardest of times together.
Throw Tradition Out The Window: If you want to have a traditional wedding with of the bells and whistles in place of the informal one you had before, that’s awesome! After all, it’s your (second) special day. However, if you weren’t really into the all of the fussy traditions, leave them out! Choose only the rituals that you really want to keep. It isn’t required that you have a garter and bouquet toss or a sit down dinner and dance reception. Get creative! Maybe you want to renew your vows barefoot on the beach with an informal barbecue to follow the ceremony. Do you love astronomy? Ask you local planetarium about hosting your wedding .Talk with your honey and find out what’s really important to the both of you. Perhaps the two of you are foodies? If so, you might want to put most of your budget towards great food to share with your guests. Maybe it’s all about good music in your world? In that case, ask around for referrals and interview several bands or D.J.’s until you find the right fit. A little food for thought, consider having a DIY wedding. There are TONS of different reference books and sites that can help you make and personalize everything from your invitations and programs to your centerpieces. (If you choose to have them.) Not only is this a surefire way to get exactly what you want, but it will save you hundreds of dollars in expenses.
Theme Scheme: If the two of you are fun loving and playful, you might consider having a theme wedding. For instance, my husband and I are planning on having a somewhat Halloween/Gothic Vow renewal. This is just one in an endless sea of options. Christmas, Medieval, Garden, Phantom Of The Opera, Vampire, Burlesque, Fall, Winter, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, The Beach, Country, Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, Roman, Hollywood, Bollywood, Art, The nineteen forties, Victorian, Steampunk, or even your favorite T.V. Show/Movie! Whatever you choose, it’s sure to be an amazing, fun, and memorable night that your family and friends will talk about for years to come!
There are so many options when it comes to renewing your vows. The most important thing is to focus on what is truly meaningful to you and your honey. After all, by renewing your vows you are quite literally saying “I love you so much, I want to marry you all over again.” After many years and milestones together, what could possibly be more beautiful than that?
About the Author: Talia Gamble is a relationship guru, heavy metal junkie, devourer of books and notorious chocolate addict. She lives in East Texas with her brilliant husband Josh, eight year old son, and three ninja kitties.
Try Not To Pressure Yourself
May 20, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy: Chelsea Pullano
Try Not To Pressure Yourself
One of the hardest parts of being single is the societal expectation that you will eventually not be single anymore. It is very easy to let yourself get caught up in this expectation, and even to let it pressure you. Many people who have been single for an extended period of time feel that they need to find a relationship. Often these people actually do not dislike being single, but feel like they should be in a relationship. They force themselves to go looking for love because other people tell them to, not because they are ready to be at that stage in their life. They end up pressuring themselves into a relationship that, for one reason or another, is not what they need at that point in time. This can cause a variety of problems.
Many people end up settling, because they figure they have found somebody they can be relatively happy with, and they need to get married. This pressure to be married leads to a proposal to someone that they may not be ready to be engaged to. This can happen for a couple of reasons. Some people are very set on marriage. It is easy for someone who has always wanted to walk down the aisle early in life to fall in love, and convince themselves that they need to marry this person. And some people are right. Some people meet their ideal match early in life and live happily ever after marrying them right then and there. However, it is easy for someone who is set on being married to talk themselves into proposing even if they are not ready.
Another similar danger is the pressure to get engaged when a couple is together for an extended period of time. When people have been together for years, both society and the people in the relationship begin to wonder what comes next. While marriage is the logical next step for a couple in love, it is important to be sure both parties are ready for this decision. If one of you is hesitant, it is better to wait to be married, and let everyone wonder what is taking so long, than to get married and risk whatever is causing the hesitance harming your marriage in the future.
It is important to note that some people are ready to be married and settled down at a young age. This is not a criticism of those people. However, it is important to be sure that you are indeed ready before looking for that special someone to settle down with. Do not look for a significant other because you feel like you should. Look because you want to, because you feel like it is where you want to be heading with your life at that point in time. And when you do find someone, be sure that they are the someone before you let anyone tell you it is time to settle down with them. Just because you have dated for a long time does not mean it is time to be married. Do not let society pressure your expectations for your relationship, and most importantly, do not let society make you pressure yourself.
That May Be What You Heard, But That Is Not What I Said!
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationshipsby Sylvia Van Peebles
That May Be What You Heard, But That Is Not What I Said!
Have you ever been in a conversation with your partner, but you feel like you are talking to a deaf person? You can tell from the look on their face and their responses that they are not on the same page with you. You cannot help but wonder what they heard. You will know that soon enough when the subject comes up again and they quote you. Only what they quote will bear no resemblance to what you actually said. It will remind you of the childhood game of Telephone. You know, where kids sit in a circle and the first person whispers something to the person next to them. It continues around the circle, with the last person repeating the comment. The result is hysterical. How could they have gotten it so wrong? The same way your partner does. Something we affectionately refer to as selective hearing.
Men are particularly guilty of hearing only what they want to hear. Take the case of Lee and Marian. They were in the singles group at church. Marian told Lee, “Call me when they have the next event”. All Lee heard was “Call me”. Marion had just walked in the door when her phone rang. It was Lee. Men will also develop selective hearing when it is something they do not want to hear.
Women also practice selective listening; they put a different spin on it. Women will ask a question with the intent of accomplishing a desired goal. She will only get enough information from the conversation to manipulate the outcome. Women do not want to understand what you said. They mainly want you to take it back, agree with them, or give them what they want. Consider Ellen who wanted Larry to bring her some ice cream. Larry declined. Ellen refused to understand or accept the reasons Larry gave. She kept asking, trying to manipulate Larry into doing what she wanted.
Selective hearing has to be at the top of the list of pet peeves of relationships. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to talk to your partner, only to have them keep saying “What?” You want to yell the Verizon slogan, “Can you hear me now?” You glare at them, and do the two-finger point thing between your eyes and theirs to make them focus. Men have a hard time multi-tasking so hearing, concentrating, and comprehending may be more than they can handle. However, the skills you used with your toddler, and a lot of patience may go a long way in saving your sanity, and your relationship.
Studies show that the selective hearing phenomenon is due to wandering attention, rather than disdain or malice for a particular subject or person. Before you beat your partner up too bad, make sure they focus on what you say. You do not want to end up with hockey tickets instead of tickets to the ballet. Avoid long conversations, when you see their eyes glaze over; you know you have lost them!
Truly Unique Gifts She Will LOVE
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships, Marriage, Uncategorized
By: Talia Gamble
Truly Unique Gifts She Will LOVE
Whether you’re coming up on a relationship milestone or looking for the perfect gift for a specific holiday, you are probably going over the ordinary every day gifts the media is constantly trying to foist off on you. Flowers, Candy, Jewelry, A Spa Day, these are all things that women are supposed to crave. Well, what if you have a different type of woman? After all, not everyone is into the normal “girly” things and activities that we are told are the universal wants of the female species. We are all of us unique and therefore will certainly love a gift that was obviously chosen with specifically our self in mind. “But where can I FIND a gift like this?” you might lament. Fear not my gift spelunker. Below you will find a few ideas to get you started. They might even spark something in that own dizzy little head of yours.
Engraving Craving: Okay, so I covered how jewelry is usually pretty generic. However, adding a personal engraving to a piece you know she’ll love is a beautiful way to make it a gift that’s catered directly to her. There are many websites and local jewelry stores out there with stunning pieces that they will personalize with little or no additional cost to you. The key to this is having something that’s truly meaningful to the two of you as the engraving. This means, no quotes from Shakespeare’s sonnets. Do the two of you have a song? How about having your favorite lyrics engraved. Is there a special pet name you call her? That would be perfect. So the next time you reach for jewelry as a go to gift, try and make it something personal to her. It could mean the difference between “Thanks honey” and “HOLY!…. OMG!… Thanks Baby!”
Write Her A Song: Admit it, you wrote angsty teenage poetry back in the day. Who didn’t? Well, it’s time to revisit your creative side. What woman doesn’t swoon a little when she hears a beautiful love song in the genre of her choice? Rock stars have been doing this for ages. Robert Smith wrote “Love Song” for his bride as a wedding present. Aaron Lewis wrote all of those beautiful but angsty odes to well… someone. The point is, this is an ultimate gesture of romance. You don’t have to be proficient on an instrument to pen lyrics about the woman you love. The gift of lyrics on paper for her is enough. (Although if you can play and sing it will certainly maximize the impact.)Sit down and think about your life together. What are some things you love about her? What have you overcome as a couple? What inflames you so when you’re touching her. Just let your thoughts wander and like those angsty teenage feelings that so flowed out of you back then, your words about her will as well. On the flip side, your wife will brag and make every other husband of your wife’s friends look bad, so be prepared for this. (I won’t tell if you gloat a little.)
Have An Adventure: Who needs a spa day when you can go bungee jumping or sky diving together? What activity has your partner always wanted to try but hasn’t had the opportunity? Maybe she wants to go snowboarding? Or on the less extreme side, maybe she has always wanted to sing at an open mic night but hasn’t quite gotten up the courage. Book a snowboarding expedition or take her to a club and gently push her towards the stage, telling her you love the way she sings and want everyone else to hear her too. Whatever it is, make it happen. We so often forget after we have been together for a few years that in the beginning we wanted nothing more than to help our partner reach their full potential and make all of their dreams come true. This shouldn’t dissipate just because you’ve got other things eating up your time and energy. The man or woman you love should always be the number one priority in your life and you should never stop trying to help them reach their full potential.
Give Her That Spa Day…With A Twist: YOU will be her cute spa technician for the day. Run to the store and get the essentials such as a face mask, cucumbers, her favorite nail polish, body scrub, massage oil, etc… Get your lady all comfy in a fluffy bathrobe. Run her a hot bath with her favorite bubbles and remove her bathrobe. Wash and condition her hair, scrub her down with the body scrub (giving you ample opportunity for groping). Dry your honey off and wrap her back up in the fluffy bathrobe. Finish with a Mani/Pedi, Facial, and end with a sensual massage. It doesn’t matter if your nail painting is messy or you accidentally use the conditioner before you shampoo when washing her hair. The point is, you will make her feel cherished because YOU took the time to do these things yourself instead of shipping her off to the local salon. Nothing beats the talking, laughing, and bonding that will happen as you use your hands to soothe and pamper each other.
Alright gentleman, as you can see, there are many gifts you can give a woman that don’t fall under the generic guidelines of the romance industry that will she love and cherish far more and for far longer than that silly rose bouquet. Ever woman is unique and chances are those qualities are the ones that attracted you to her in the first place. So celebrate her differences and give her a gift as special as she is.
About the Author: Talia Gamble is a relationship guru, heavy metal junkie, devourer of books and notorious chocolate addict. She lives in East Texas with her brilliant husband Josh, eight year old son, and three ninja kitties.
According to Romance Novels
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and RelationshipsBy Kimberly Chiree
According to Romance Novels
Romance novels are a huge market. Readers devour the stories page by page with an insatiable appetite that has catapulted romance novels in to one of the “it” genres. There are different types of romance novels and each has a particular style but the truth is that romance novels are to adults what Disney movies are to children. They fill adults with unrealistic expectations about love and romance. This is not to say that romance novels are bad, but rather that they should come with a disclaimer that real life is often not as dreamy and usually not as steamy.
Let us begin with the chatty romance novels. These novels have more discussions in them than an hour on The View. The characters constantly want to talk to each other and to themselves and to the reader and to anyone who will listen. Everything is discussed. It is usually too much. In real life, there are lots of things in relationships that happen without discussion; things that are never dissected in search of hidden meanings.
There are romance novels with sex scenes that border on the edge of decency. The details are either so graphic or so descriptive that they seem like they were included more to titillate the reader than to consummate the relationship between the characters in the story. These scenes can sometimes leave the reader feeling like they are missing something in their sexual relationship, when in fact, the reader is making an unfair comparison.
There are the romance novels with the bad boy and the good girl. These novels perpetuate the idea that a good woman can help a bad boy see the light and reform his ways. In reality, people do not change unless they are ready to change. Reforming a bad boy is the exception, not the rule. It is dangerous for people to believe that their love is so magical that it will change their loved one’s life. Yes it happens, but people need to be prepared for the reality that more times than not, they are left holding the emotional baggage of their failed attempt to change their partner.
There are the successful man romance novels in which a successful man falls in love with his maid or his secretary or a regular girl from the neighborhood. Life does kind of imitate art when it comes to these novels. There are lots of real life stories of successful men marrying women who are nowhere near their level of success. These relationships are often held up in romance novels and in real life as “dream” relationships. The difference is that in romance novels it is almost always about love, while in real life, it is sometimes just about the money.
There are the reunited love romance novels in which a childhood sweetheart, crush or old boyfriend resurfaces and romantic interludes abound. This feeds in to the idea of having a soul mate and being brought together when the time is right. It’s the type of thoughts that leave people pining after their high school sweetheart years after the relationship has ended. Yes, there are stories in the media of couples who reconnected after twenty years, but these stories are exceptions. Exes are often exes for a reason and sometimes romance novels blur that idea for the reader.
Then there are the soul mate romance novels. These novels are as Disney as they come in terms of the general plot. The main characters meet and almost instantly fall in love and are swept in to a whirlwind romance before experiencing some unexpected trauma then ending up together, living happily ever after.
Romance novels peddle stories of romance on level ten when most people experience romance on much lower levels. People have to be able to differentiate between the romance of romance novels and the romance of the real world because often, the two are very different.
Casual Encounters of the Twenty Something Kind
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Casual Dating, Dating and Relationshipsby Christine R.
Casual Encounters of the Twenty Something Kind
Your twenties is that precarious time in your life where you are allowed time for indulgences, wild fun, and carefree love. You absorb the experiences in your life with reckless abandon, which makes for a regret-free future. However, just like a sponge, you have to be weary of its expiration date or before long you will have become a breeding ground for bacteria and find yourself no longer able to absorb all the life’s little quirks with the same newfound glory you once had. You will now be harboring a germ-filled cesspool for dirt and cynicism. So when do you know when to ring yourself out before it is too late and you become another overused sponge?
Pace Yourself
For those youngins, time is an eternal flower field where dreams are the limit. When you are in your twenties, you have no concept of time, responsibility, or loss. Rather, you experiment, laugh, drink, and roam free. The energy you have allows you to run rampant and lose track of reality. So be careful not to pull a Lindsay Lohan here, stuck in a revolving door of parties, one-night stands, and dismantling of self. It is easy to get lost in this youthful bubble but before long, you find yourself thirty-five stranded on a disco yacht party, forever lost in a sea of delusion. Have fun but do not go overboard.
Be Safe
Just because you are young, does not mean that safety does not apply. This includes sex, drug experimentation, and the people you surround yourself with. Do you really want a life long souvenir from a one-night stand whether it comes in the form of a baby or STD? Or what about the DUI or arrest record to tarnish your chances at a becoming a lawyer? When young, we tend to gamble and it makes life all the more exciting. It is all good to go out there and sow your wild oats just make sure you do not take the whole invincible thing literally by having all sorts of free loving escapades.
Do Not Throw Away Your Instincts
A lot of new experiences will present itself during your twenties. And by all means, experience them. However, be aware of those shady characters you come across that offer similar such experiences. Just because it sounds enticing does not mean you should necessarily take up every offer. If someone is giving you major creepster vibes, by all means, avoid them. Regardless of the experience, is it really worth sharing it with a bunch of people who might otherwise ruin it anyways?
So at the end of it all, use your youth wisely. Do not waste it away on vacuous experiences with weird strangers. And do not risk your future and health to do it. Give those fun and exciting experiences the full benefit by experiencing them in a somewhat intelligent manner. Just because you are young, does not mean you have to waste it accordingly.
Technology and Romance
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships, TechnologyBy Kimberly Chiree
Technology and Romance
When was the last time you texted your partner just to tell them that you loved them? If you have to think about it, it has been too long. Technology has made it much easier to be romantic and to share your feelings even when you are not together, so take advantage of technology and use it to improve your love life.
Texting can be used to relay menial messages, but it can also be used to hint at romantic plans. Instead of texting your partner to ask if dinner is ready, occasionally text them and tell them not to cook anything. Come home with their favorite meal from their favorite restaurant and let them know that you did it just because. Do not attach it to something that they did or something good that happened to you that day, just let it be an impromptu celebration of your love and the fact that you know exactly what they like.
Texting can also be used to let your partner know that you were thinking about them or that something triggered a memory of a good time you had with them. Do not hesitate to send them a message asking them if they remember the time that the two of you did a certain activity. Whether the memory just popped in to your head or you saw something that made you think of it, if it is a good memory for you, it will probably put a smile on their face too and it will affirm for them that even when you are not together, they are still on your mind.
If your partner has to go out of town, do not be too busy to use technology that will bring you face to face. Talking to someone is one thing, but seeing them is another. Let them have the full “at home” experience from wherever they are. Let them enjoy a conversation where they can watch the expressions on your face and see you smile. You do not have to see each other every time you talk, but it is a nice option to add to your relationship. If you want to take it a step further, then schedule the chat ahead of time and make sure to look nice for them.
Use your online calendar or the calendar on your phone so that you never forget a birthday, anniversary or other special occasion. Program the date in immediately and set up a reminder for the day before at the absolute. If it is an anniversary then you should set up a reminder for the week before in order to give yourself time to make good plans and you should have the calender remind you the day before and the day of the anniversary. With all the available technology, there is no longer a good excuse for forgetting an important date in your relationship.
If you can not think of something romantic to do for your significant other, you can go online and search for ideas. There are some great websites that have a lot of creative ways to be romantic. Romance is not all about buying things. There are many other ways to be romantic and if you can not think of any on your own then do not be afraid to seek help. Technology should make romance easier, but it can only help you if you use it.
Finding Love Online
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships, Online DatingBy Kimberly Chiree
Finding Love Online
Online dating is very popular. There are sites for just about all kinds of preferences, and if a site hasn’t been created, it’s probably in the works. If you are looking for love and romance online then there are a few things that you must do:
Use a Recent Picture
There is nothing worse than going out to meet a man in his late twenties and ending up sitting across from a man in his mid fifties. No one appreciates being intentionally misled. Put up a picture that is recent and reflects how you actually look. Using a picture of you forty pounds ago is not good no matter which direction the change has occurred. If you’re much bigger or much skinnier than your profile picture, you might encounter some less than friendly reactions when you meet in person. People have a general idea of what they want and online dating is like ordering from a menu at a restaurant. No one wants to order filet mignon then receive tofu instead. If you are not what the person wants, it’s best for both of you if they know that upfront. How can you expect them to fall in love with you if you can’t even embrace your own looks?
Be Honest in Your Profile
Don’t lie about your age, gender, race, sex, education or income. Tell the truth about who you are because no relationship that is built solely on lies will have a foundation strong enough to survive. Yes, there are stories where people meet someone who has lied and they still date them or remain friends with them, but those are the exceptions and not the rules. Those situations have often been proceeded by months, if not years of communicating with the person. Sometimes there is so much time and energy invested in to the other person that it is harder to completely walk away than it is to forgive and try to move forward. If you’ve ever seen MTV’s Catfish, you know that lying often does not have a good outcome.
Make Your Intentions Clear
There is nothing wrong if you are using an online dating website to hook up with people, but there is something wrong if you aren’t honest about it. On the other side, if you are looking for a serious relationship, you should make that clear in your profile. You should also explicitly state that you are not interested in hook ups or friends with benefits. You will probably get some people who are just looking to hook up, but you will get a lot more if your profile doesn’t say where you stand on the issue.
Take Your Time
The most important step in finding love online is to take your time. Don’t fall in love with someone’s picture or their voice or their profile. Spend time getting to know the person and if you want to wait a while to meet them in person, at least Facetime, Skype or webcam with them sooner rather than later. You want to make sure that they are indeed the person in their profile picture. Seeing them won’t insure that everything else about them is true, but at least you can be confident that it’s them.
Finding love online is as much of a challenge as finding love the traditional way. You have to set standards for yourself and you have to put yourself out there. The best advice for online dating is to treat it like regular dating and provide an accurate overview of who you are as a person.
Movies Sure To Have You Feeling the Romance
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships, Marriage
By: Talia Gamble
So, the two of you have decided to curl up on the couch with some popcorn. What to watch? Well if you’re like me, you enjoy the kind of romantic movies that have a little more to them than the usual fluff. Below you will find some of my favorites and I warn you, not all of them are what you’d typically imagine when thinking of movies about love and romance. Read on if you dare!
The Crow: This is the ULTIMATE movie about true love for me. What woman doesn’t dream of a love that transcends even death? Brandon Lee is truly extraordinary in his last movie role before his untimely death as Eric Draven, a rock musician who is murdered along with his fiancee by a group of thugs and then brought back to life by a supernatural crow to avenge their deaths. It’s truly one of the most spectacular movies about forever love that you could ever watch and also one of the most well loved movies among the Gothic community.
Chasing Amy: The exceptional Kevin Smith’s melancholy but insanely funny movie about comic book artist Holden McNeil (Played brilliantly by Ben Affleck) who falls irrevocably in love with fellow comic book artist Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams) who happens to be a lesbian. The tale that ensues isn’t only about unlikely love, but about not pigeonholing yourself into a corner while searching for the person you’re meant to be with. I have also found it to be a poignant reminder that when you love someone it’s the person they are right now in this day and this hour that you’re in love with. You should never ever define them by their past. Forgetting this could cost you everything.
William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: Does this one really need an explanation? The 1996 remake with Claire Danes and Leonardo Dicaprio is a brilliant modern day interpretation of the classic romantic tragedy. Yes, it does have a little bit of a cheese factor but that can be forgiven when you see the stunning imagery and emotion that filters through the actor portrayals of the classic characters. If you’re anything like me, you might just be tearing up before this one is over, so grab some tissues and warn your honey that their shirt might just be soaked before this one is over.
Highway To Hell: This 1992 horror/romance/comedy flick is probably one of the more unusual movies on this list. Chad Lowe and Kristy Swanson star as young and in love couple Charlie and Rachel. The two of them set off to elope in Las Vegas and along the way stop at “Sam’s Last Chance Gas Station” where they are warned not to fall asleep after the second tree on the road. Of course they do and promptly waylaid by “Hellcop” Sam who takes Rachel down to Hell to be one of Satan’s brides. Charlie must quite literally go to and through Hell if he wants to rescue the woman he loves. What could be more romantic than literally battling the devil to get the woman you love back?
Queen Of The Damned: While this one took some flak for not staying perfectly true to the novel, it’s a really spectacular
movie with one of the best soundtracks to come out of the 2000′s. Aliyah in her last movie appearance before her tragic death is brilliant as Queen Akasha. However, the real love story here is between millenniums old vampire Lestat de Lioncourt who awakens from a hundred years of slumber to become this generation’s metal god and Talamascan watcher Jesse Reeves who is intrigued with the humanity that may still lie in the cold heart of the jaded Lestat. This is one of those movies that makes you want to rock out together while also stirring up those tender feelings between the two of you.Well there you go ladies and gentlemen, a few movies to consider watching the next time the two of you are in the mood to snuggle and feed each other popcorn on the couch. These are some of mine and my hubby’s favorites because they don’ mesh with commercial movies that are so often labeled “Chick flicks’ Use this list as a jumping off point to find your own movies that don’t fit the stereotypical mold and enjoy creating new inside references only the two of you understand. Happy viewing darlings!
About the Author: Talia Gamble is a relationship guru, heavy metal junkie, devourer of books and notorious chocolate addict. She lives in East Texas with her brilliant husband Josh, eight year old son, and three ninja kitties.
For the Ultimate Romantic Date – Stay Home
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Dating and Relationships, Food, Love
by Sylvia Van Peebles
For the Ultimate Romantic Date – Stay Home
The best place for your ultimate romantic date is not the new French restaurant with a Paris theme, and menu items you cannot pronounce, or the little intimate spot where you usually have a long wait. Unbelievably, the perfect place for a special date night is right at home.
Think about it. You don’t need a reservation, you don’t have to drive anywhere, you can stay as long as you want, and you can have more than two drinks. You can still dress up, if you wish, or you can be casual and comfortable. The best part is, when you have finished eating you don’t have to interrupt the atmosphere to make the trek home. You can just get up, go lounge by the fire and cuddle, or…
Who’s going to cook?
Before you call 911, you are not going to be doing the cooking. That would defeat the purpose. A caterer will provide the food for your special night. You can find many caterers and personal chefs online to fit any budget. They will take care of everything. They even bring beautiful china so you don’t have to use your own. The caterer will handle the cleanup as well.
The menu
Deciding what to eat is hard because there are so many choices. First, narrow it down to what kind of food you want to eat. Do you want Italian, French, American, etc? On the other hand, you may prefer seafood, steak, or chicken. Then narrow it down to a specific entree. The caterer, or chef, will know what side dishes will complement the meal. They can provide the wine as well. Choose an exquisitely sensual dessert, with a dessert wine, to end your perfect meal.
Setting the stage
Now you have to choose where you want your ultimate romantic date to take place. Try to stay away from the dining room. You may want to set up an intimate table for two in the living room. If it is cool enough, you can light a fire. A couple of large floor pillow would be just the thing for some after dinner wine sipping. If the weather permits, consider a beautiful candlelit setting in your back yard or on the patio. If you wish, you can provide your own tablecloth, candles, etc. However, your caterer can also provide these things. Just let him, or her know what your needs are.
Finishing touches
Be sure to have music. Whether you will be indoors or outside, music is essential. Contrary to popular opinion, you do not have to play classical music to be romantic. Yes, it can be, but so can almost anything else. It is about whatever music you like. If you like country music, then some soft country will be romantic for you. Soft jazz is another great choice.
Have a nice light scent in the air; something delicate, with sensual overtones. Delight your senses, and make this date one that you will always remember.
Sylvia Van Peebles has a passion for writing and a broad range of experience allows her to write on many different topics. She writes articles, short stories, real estate descriptions and other trending content.
Damn! He/She’s Hot! Why You Shouldn’t Be Jealous
May 19, 2013 by admin
Filed under Check list for relationship, Dating and Relationships
By: Talia Gamble
Men are super visual creatures and even the most level headed of us ladies can find ourselves turning into paranoid green eyed freaks over nothing once we're in a committed relationship with someone we adore. Whether you just got together or you've been together for years, there are some things you can do to tame that psycho green eyed demon that's threatening to jump out and turn you into the spawn of Satan.
Trust Is The Key: Do you trust your man or lady? No, I mean REALLY trust them? Sometimes I think as women we are really afraid to fully trust another human being. We are born with instincts that urge us to withhold a part of ourselves. This isn't always a bad thing since these are also a part of the evolutionary fight or flight instinct that keep us physically safe from harm. However, when this keeps us from opening up and being vulnerable with the person we love, it can be a problem. The way you think about your honey, the love, devotion, and loyalty you feel are probably the exact same feelings they have for you, if you are truly with the right person. So worrying every time someone turns their head is a recipe for disaster. You probably do the exact same thing. Picture what you are thinking when you see someone attractive while you're in a committed relationship. What do you feel? I bet it isn't the urge to run off and jump their bones. Try to remember this when you feel that pang of jealousy rushing through you after an attractive man or woman turns your partners head. After all, they chose to be with you.
Secure or Insecure?: I hate the media these days. They are determined to convince us that only a certain type of woman is attractive. Is it really any wonder that nearly the entire female population in this country is insecure? I have seen some really beautiful women sit and pick themselves apart from top to bottom simply because it is constantly in our faces that only "This" is sexy. In a relationship, this comes into play when a woman doesn't know just how amazing she really is. Men know when she isn't comfortable in her skin. The woman who truly catches a man's eye and KEEPS it, is the one who is confident herself and what she has to offer the world and a relationship. The trick is not to lose that confidence once you've found the person you want to be with. When they make the decision to be with you, they're saying."I really like you, I want to be with only you" Don't underestimate this. Make a point not to compare yourself to more attractive women. Instead, run through the positive qualities about yourself in your head when you begin to feel less than you are Doing this is a beautifully effective reminder that you're pretty damn amazing in your own right.
Let Go: It seems to be programmed into some women's DNA to micromanage everything. Unfortunately, this extends to include their man's life. A lot of women do this in an effort to keep him from straying. They think if they hold on tightly enough, he won't even think of straying. Let me break this to you gently divas, regardless of how well you treat your man or how good you think your relationship is. If he wants to cheat, he's going to cheat and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. In this case, he obviously wasn't the person you were supposed to be with. So let go and just enjoy your relationship as it is. Be confident in yourself and your honey. It will drive you completely insane worrying about all of the "What If's" If you are destined for each other it will flow.
We all suffer from the green eyed monster from time to time, but letting it take over your life and relationship will do nothing but cause unnecessary stress and misery for the both of you. It might even become a self fulfilling prophecy. You assume things will go badly so they do. There is a lot of power and energy behind our thoughts. So focus on the positive and be confident in just how amazing you are as a woman and the two of you are together.
About the Author: Talia Gamble is a relationship guru, heavy metal junkie, devourer of books and notorious chocolate addict. She lives in East Texas with her brilliant husband Josh, eight year old son, and three ninja kitties.
