Signs of a Controlling Boyfriend


By: Jason Nickol

In recent years, more and more women are striking out and attempting to gain information on the signs of a controlling boyfriend. It could be that perhaps you are one of these women, or you are a friend or family member that is concerned about a relationship that someone you know is in. In the past, “bad” relationships were described as those that consisted of physical and sexual abuse, as well as infidelity. In today’s world, there are many types of “bad” relationships, and that in which a woman is subjected to the control of her boyfriend is considered to be one of them. In all actuality, relationships that involve some sort of control are among the most common when it comes to “bad” relationships. Here, I will introduce you to the signs of a controlling boyfriend.

It is important to understand that when a boyfriend is controlling, he can wreck havoc on the relationship. If you are the woman who feels as if you may be in a controlling relationship, you may find that there is emotional damage, social damage, and a basic amount of overall psychological damage. The person that you are with may lack self-esteem, or feel as if you are the only thing that they have control over in their lives. They may have even been subjected to the same types of behaviors that they are exhibiting towards you…however; this is no excuse for their behavior, at least not an appropriate one. If you recognize any of the following signs, you may be in a relationship that is unhealthy:

1. It is relatively common for someone who controls another to become physically abusive. Often, the hurt that they impose on you is done intentionally so that they may feel superior to you. This may include hitting, shoving, or even inappropriate sexual activity and behaviors that you feel uncomfortable with.

2. In many instances, the individual that controls another will have a heightened sense of attachment to the person that they share a relationship with. In the same respect, the individual may actually detach themselves quickly in certain situations.

3. Most boyfriends who are controlling will make an attempt to keep you away from friends, family members, and other individuals that you once enjoyed spending time with. They may also have issues with your talking on the phone, being online, or chatting and/or emailing others on the internet.

4. In many cases, a controlling boyfriend may either make you stay at home and not work, or they will make you do all the work in an effort to support not only yourself, but them as well. This is also considered to be financial abuse, but can be a result of someone who is extremely controlling. They may make you feel as if you may be subjected to some sort of punishment, such as physical abuse, if you do not respond appropriately to what they expect of you as far as work.

5. There are some cases in which the controlling boyfriend will often blame you for absolutely everything in their life that is going wrong, or is not how it should be – even if there is no possible way that had anything to do with the situation at hand. The blame game is one of the most common signs of a controlling boyfriend.

If you find that you are in this type of relationship, or you recognize one of these signs of a controlling boyfriend, it may be time to find an exit route as far as the relationship is concerned.